Many of us have difficulty making decisions. We tell ourselves all kinds of stories so we won’t have to make decisions. It really doesn’t make a difference if it is a major decision, small decision or a just a decision about what you want to eat. Decisions are fraught with: I can’t do it, it won’t come out good, I was never good at that, whatever decision I make the opposite with happen, or making decisions is not my strong point.
So would it surprise you learn that your mood has a major role in making and affecting your decisions? A good mood generally bespeaks a responsible decision and a bad mood or lousy mood pushes you towards an awful decision. Dr. David Lieberman suggests that when you need to make a decision, just change your mood. Snap yourself into a different frame of mind. In other words, act the way you want to feel. Hundreds of years ago, there was an axiom that stated, “the external awakens the internal”. When we look at superheroes, prior to them taking off or doing something ‘heroic’, they have the stance and or look of “I am getting this done and nothing will get in my way”. That is putting the external pose as a way of reflecting the internal, “I am getting this done”. It is having your emotions in sync with your body, mind and what needs to be accomplished. About fifteen years ago I was present when a Polish man told a story of a young Jewish girl that he fell in love with during WW2. At one point, the girl was betrayed and picked up by the Nazis and sent to Auschwitz. The girl was fortunately chosen to work in one of the kitchens, where she peeled potatoes. During this time, this young Polish man never stopped looking for her. He finally found her and planned an escape. He stole a German officer’s uniform and entered the concentration camp. He went to the girl’s barracks and told her she was leaving. He pointed the gun at her and walked her out of the camp, with no one the wiser. What he did was assume the mental and physical appearance of a Nazi officer, so no one would question him. He spoke like an officer, he gave orders like an officer, and he played the part of the officer. If you act, feel and move a certain way, your brain and body follows suit, all the parts do it in unison, so it works. For our in-love Polish man, he had to make it work, or they both would have been shot immediately. The end result was that it worked, and he did get the girl out of the camp safely. They agreed to meet at a barn in 2 weeks time, however the war got in the way. For those who doubt the story, I did see the wanted posters for both the Polish man and the girl, offering a large reward for their capture. They did meet, almost fifty years later via the telephone. When I heard the story, the woman had already died, and the Polish man met with her daughter and presented her with roses. When he spoke, even though I don’t speak Polish, it was obvious even fifty years later that he still loved her.
Act and move a certain way and you will start to feel that way. Actions first, feelings second. It can be a game changer, for the rest of your life.
Dr. Howard Chusid, Ed.D, LMHC, NCC, MAC is a Florida Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CCMHC) with offices in Hallandale and Coral Springs, Florida. His practice focuses on PTSD, ADD/HD and kids having problems with their parents. Dr. Chusid is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, and assists families whose marriages are broken. Dr. Chusid can be seen either in person or via Tele-behavioral. You can reach Dr. Chusid at Counselingfl@gmail.com or 954-455-0388.
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